Awakening

Why has it taken me so long to figure out where I went wrong as far as my professional life? Well, I, along with many others who have been laid off and now have the opportunity to contemplate this question, am on the brink of a discovery. I haven't quite "arrived" yet, but I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My spouse asked me tonight why my current conversation has been so intense. Quite frankly,
my reply was that I was angry at myself. I can't place all of the blame on the cold, unjust, unappreciative, gluttonous practices of corporate America. I also have to blame myself. As a
"30-something" I have just realized that I was so caught up trying to please everyone else and caught up thinking that I would be compensated based on merit, I failed to realize that the reality I had created for myself (in my mind) in the workplace did not actually exist.

I knew (even if it was subconsciously) that I hated my job, that I was not working in the field that I intended, that the business had no standard operating procedure, and that employees were not compensated based on merit. I realize that these issues may exist in many corporations, but it is a question of extremity. One might be able to tolerate a certain degree of dysfunction, but to what extreme?

Anyway, no matter how upset I've been with myself, this situation has been a blessing in disguise. I didn't make the necessary changes in my life, so life made the (initial) change for me.
If this hadn't happened to me, I would still be miserable, sick, and overworked. You know, there is something to gaining a sense of accomplishment because you are living your life authentically, as opposed to becoming something else to please someone else. You are the only one who knows how to live your authentic life - no one else has the right to tell you (professionally-speaking, anyway) - not your parents, your boss, nor your friends. If you're not happy, no one in your house will be happy - not even your cat, dog, bird, or otherwise.